a little nervous

 i am leaving the state for a few days in the upcoming month and i am nervous and so damn excited.
a. i have never been away from the boys for more than a day/overnight/another day, ever! not even gavin. that means that dan and i have not left for more than a day or so in the last three years. let alone the state.
b. i have never had anyone assume the "mommy" role.
c. three different people/families/whatever you'd like to call it are taking care of my boys. my mom one day, dan the next, shawn and sarah for a few days and then shari and gerry the last day. that's a lot of moving my kids. moving them BOTH in a car (without me driving), moving their belongings around... yikes. kind of gives me a small panic attack thinking of it. i know the kids will be perfectly fine, they love their grandmas, papas and auntie and uncle, and they treat our kids like their own, but still...
d. why isn't dan taking care of our kids? well that's because DAN is too leaving the state. horrible planning! dan is going snowmobiling in wyoming- yes, the same state i am heading to. i guess he will be in montana too, but that's besides the point. he will be leaving saturday, i will be leaving on a thursday. yes, both parents will be out of state. dan was supposed to be leaving on monday, which would cut down the moving of our kids and all the planning but his trip got moved up a bit. and the big kicker.... both of us are not, repeat not, driving. which makes me just a tad more panicked.  dan and i, we like the control of driving. it kind of gives us some ease. i like knowing that if something were to happen with our kids we could leave at the drop of a hat to get to where we need to go. and we do that if we're in litchfield or out of town near or far. we always drive. i am going to wyoming with some really great ladies. some that i know, and some that i don't. most of them are moms so they would defiantly have no problem cutting their trip short if something were to happen with my kids (as i would do the same).. it's just something that i am a little uncomfortable with.
e. when i come back from wyoming dan will be gone for quite some time. that means that i am here, without any support. now i can handle the kids, but what if something were to break down? or go wrong in our house? the two other guys i would call to help me will also be with him... in another state. there are a few other guys that would defiantly come to my rescue, if i should need it, but those two are my "go-to" guys.
f. as of today. i have no one to take care of bella. bella's kind of a feisty bitch. she loves to be left alone, in her little doggie bed. she loves kids, but doesn't want to be around them all the time. which presents a small problem for me. ohhhh bella. a kennel is not an option.. so i need to get creative. it would only be 2 days that she would need to be somewhere- while the kids are at sarah and shawns.
g. i am missing jude's first birthday. yep. i am. talk all about it to your friends, i am missing his first birthday. at first i was like no no no, i am not going on this trip... i don't want to miss it. and then i thought.... will i get this chance in the near future again? no. so i am going. we haven't even planned his big birthday huuraaaaaah, but it makes me sad i'll be 1000 or so miles away. i'm pretty sure i will be more upset by it than jude.

so that's my nervous points.
my excited points outweigh my nervous ones... i cannot wait. sleeping in, drinking wine, a great group of women, being in wyoming- that is good enough reason to go right there. i'm just a little nervous to be leaving my littles behind. and no, i do not want to take them with. i guess this will be a little taste of what leaving them behind will be like. because our montana trip will be far longer than my wyoming get-a-way.