so much love.

a quick thought:

normally i am NOT, absolutely not, a poster about my relationship with dan.. it's hard, we work on it EVERY-SINGLE-DAY, it's very trying on both of us and sometimes we both want to throw in the towel. we're both really stubborn and butt heads quite often about the smallest things. we have "adult temper tantrums" sometimes and i'm not proud to say this, but we think that the "grass is greener on the other side"... we take each other for granted and even say hurtful things that we both end up regretting almost immediately after we say them. we don't do the PDA thing, never have, probably never will. sometimes people think we're crazy and they don't understand why were together, but we are. expressing our feelings about each other is hard for both of us to do, plus i feel that its something that is just kind of pushed into that "private area" where you talk to your bestest girl friend about (thanks for listening, sarah)... but today i'm going to break it, just this once.

i am so blessed to have such a hardworking, supportive, loving husband. he does everything in his power to provide the best life for gavin, this new baby and i. he works his normal 35-40 hours and then sometimes works another 15 during the week- which he LOVES to do- if carpentry paid better and came with the benefits of the union, he would do it full time. he has to go to school on saturdays and technically has one day off to relax. he would rather me stay at home and be a full time mommy to these (soon to be)boys than go to work, which for now is totally fine. he comes home from work and spends time teaching gavin "manly things" or splits an icee and watches a thomas the train videos for the umpteenth time. gavin lights up when dad walks through the door, although gavin is a HUGE mamma's boy, daddy is still pretty cool. dan has to listen to all of my problems regarding this pregnancy and usually doesn't make too much fun of me when i try to get up from the couch or bed with difficulty, or walk super slow and (i'll admit it) waddle. he also has to listen to me bitch and complain about my tumultuous relationship with my mom and try to remind me that this soon shall pass. (sick of all this talk yet?... i'm almost finished).

in every way, i am lucky. dan has been a great husband and father (even in bad times) and i need to find simple ways to express my gratitude and love for dan more and more everyday. not with just a simple i love you, but something more, something special. so this is going to be my "new years resolution" :) love you, babe!

also, to be more blunt- but i've been saying that for awhile now ;)

on another note- and this is actually a quick one.... sarah and shawn and expecting again! baby schroeder will be here around september. crazy that amara and gavin are almost exactly 9 months apart and this baby and their new baby will be almost exactly 9 months apart as well. i'm going to be an auntie again! :)

such great heights

this snow has been such a blessing in gavin's eyes. we get to play in the snow, shovel (gavin's favorite), roll around in the snow, go sledding and throw snow at maddy, and yes, maddy loves it. we took him sledding for the first time on monday, of course since i'm 9 months pregnant i got to watch. he loved it! he loved his yellow/green/red colored sled even more. i got out my camera to capture this moment and my camera wouldn't work. i was so frustrated. it kept reading: ERROR. i was so cranky! then i looked again and realized that i left my memory card at home. BOO MOM! i was pretty bummed about the whole thing and since we were across town and it was getting cold and dark quickly, i decided i wouldn't go get it and would just wait till next time. again, i'm sort of bummed about it, but i know there will be PLENTY more times (hopefully) and i could probably join in on the fun after baby comes as well :) gavin's pretty excited to go shovel again today since we got a light dusting of snow this morning- any type of snow means it's time to shovel!

we've had such a great week so far, i know it's only wednesday, but gav's been in such a great mood and so happy that i'm crossing my fingers it lasts until sunday! tomorrow grandma and grandpa are taking gavin in the morning to play and grab a bite to eat.. and i think amara is stopping by at some point too. so it's going to be another great day for gavin.

yesterday i had my weekly check-up at the doctors office. and what do you know... GOOD NEWS! something i've been waiting so long to hear. my weight hasn't changed, not even a half-a-pound, and my blood pressure is back to normal; 120 over 75. seriously, i was beaming when she took my blood pressure! downside... well, i have a +2 of protein in my urine (+3 or 4 is NOT GOOD) and the found a slight trace of blood, which is a little scary. the protein in my urine is alarming because it's a sign that your kidneys aren't functioning properly and another sign of pre-eclampsia. so we're not "out of the water" yet. i am currently swelling like a balloon in my face (ehhhhhhh) and even my doctor commented on it- great. but the good news is that the baby won't be coming next week like the doctor had anticipated, but maybe the second week of february, or third for sure. i am still measuring small- 34 weeks and i'm currently 36 weeks along, but she doesn't seem concerned about it since baby is in position (i feel like i just wrote this in my last blog) and seems to be doing fine. we are ready for baby here though. my bags are packed, the baby's room is almost complete... i need to get a few more frames and then it'll be done- and a two DIY projects/artwork that i need dan to help with... THEN it will be done!

i must say that i am so impressed by a few of my friends. a handful of them have sent wonderful messages, asking what baby may need or what i might need, or if they can help in some sort of way and i truly appreciate it. it's great to know your friends are thinking about you! thanks guys! :)

"what's the baby's name?"

"george, woof woof"

i kinda just love gavin and the random things he says.

seriously, i can't believe how big he is and how smart he's become. dan and i really need to start watching what we say. the other day i said "oh shit" and what came out of gavin's mouth? "oh shiiit"... we don't want to have "that kid" that swears and says naughty things. he catches onto things so quickly and soaks things up like a sponge. he's going to be quite the carpenter like his daddy. he can tell you what a hammer, a screwdriver, wrench, drill and other tools are. colors are mastered, counting to 10 is pretty close-- sometimes we miss 8 and 9, he can tell me "g" is for gavin and "a" is for alvin (and the chipmunks, don't forget the munks) and he can sing and repeat nursery rhymes like a champ. the abc's are, well, a work in progress, he would rather just sing/humm with me. he helps his mommy clean and dust, do the dishes and sweep.

he feeds his fish and bella everyday- with minimal help might i add ;) we're still working hard on the potty training, but when is BM's are nasty nast cause of his final teeth coming through, it makes it hard to get to the potty in time... oh well, it will come.

yes, i am braggin on my little man.

of course there are things that i could live without- the small temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way, the days without naps, crawling out of bed and telling me "no mama" when it's bedtime, the fact that gavin isn't a fan of eating out- or waiting for his food. but now that i'm listing the things that i don't like about gavin, it makes me think of more and more things i love about him. and even the things that drive me crazy about gavin aren't that bad, they are gavin. the good, the bad- but they're all gavin. he's our only gavin. the good will always outnumber the bad- well, not bad, but frustrating.

i feel like gavin has grown up and become this perfect half&half of dan and i. i mean you can look at him and dissect things that look just like me, and just like dan. remember when he was a baby and looked identical to dan- well not so much anymore. he's so tall (that he gets from my dad) and finally has some hair(totally dans color), but his eyes and nose (that's from me).

i am so scared that our relationship is going to change- of course it is. it's not just me and my little man anymore. it will be me, my little man and this new baby. i am so scared that gavins going to think that i'm replacing him and i'm going to try my hardest to make special time for just gavin and i. i have to keep remembering that MILLIONS of people have more than one child and that it will be JUST FINE- deep breath, just fine.

gavin's favorite things are:

-thomas the trains cranky the crane

-the yellow excavator

-his kitchen set... yes, he has one and no, it's not girly

-of course his gator/black tractor that rarely gets used cause it's so cold outside

-veggies and fruits are a favorite, but chicken nuggets are absolute #1 in gavin's eyes

-root beer and apple juice are drinks of choice

-his favorite people- obviously mom and dad, and then papa ger-ger

-lilly's (horses) are his favorite animals

-still won't eat bread or hamburger

-SPK's (sour patch kids) are the only candy he can't live without

i mean the list could go on and on, but that's what comes to mind when i think about gavin's favorite things right now.

he is hands down, the best thing that has EVER happened to me. i couldn't imagine what life would be like without this little boy.

my little monster(s)..

we had our (hopefully) last ultrasound on tuesday. my nerves were at a all time high, which seems so silly, but kind of a lot was riding on this ultrasound. they needed to check my placenta and then of course check on the baby. and we just wanted to make sure it was a... boy.

the appointment didn't start off on the best foot. the ultrasound tech scolded me for not having a full enough bladder. it took every once of patience and deep breathing not to bark back at her and say "listen lady, every second of every day my bladder feels like it's going to burst. today is no different.".... but thankfully i didn't. she was not too thrilled with me but quickly got over it and decided that we'd do a vaginal ultrasound after she was through looking at the baby. she kind of gave dan and i a fright when she said, so they told you you were having a boy? we pretty much sat in panic mode for the next minute- or what seemed like fifteen minutes- before she said, yes it is a boy. thank goodness! i would be ecstatic if it were a girl in there, but we are 100% prepared for a boy and i think it would escalate my blood pressure to an all time high if they switched genders on us.

so my placenta has moved up, praise the Lord. no scheduled c-section for this lady. baby is measuring in the 57 percentile, weighing in at a whopping 5lbs 3 oz, and looking healthy as ever. we got a up close and personal view of our babes face and he actually looks like gavin, or what we could tell, so we're pretty excited about that too. he's in position to be born and overall, it was a good check up and again, i'm hoping its our last ultrasound.

i am more than ready to have this baby. my emotions are extremely high. i somehow stumbled upon a website with a bunch of baby recalls and realized that our infant seat is on that list... so i had a huge meltdown and called dan crying my eyes out. obviously it was something we weren't expecting but he reassured me we would buy a new one and it would be fine. the more and more i checked and typed in the numbers off the seat it was not recalled. the same style was recalled but if it was made after a certain date it was fine. so my tears weren't necessary. i also cried the majority of the morning about my ring. two out of the three came off, but my anniversary band/gavins band won't. actually, i'm still really emotional about it because i'm ready to cry right now. i've tried everything... elevating it, freezing it, dental flossing my finger, lotion, windex, soap--- everything. it wont budge. i'm going to try again on saturday and if it won't come off i'm going into the jeweler and get it cut off. i already called ahead and talked to them about pricing and re-sizing and it's really reasonable (around $150) to get it cut off and re-sized to a larger size so i think that's our plan. it breaks my heart though, this ring means a lot to me and i shouldn't of waited so long to try to take it off. :(

i was re-reading my blog posts and got kind of sad (again, pregnancy talking) because all of my posts are about this baby or me and not really much about my sweet little love, gavin. so from here on out.... my posts are about him. get ready readers, you might be sick of hearing about gavin soon.

another.

another entry you say? yes, i know i have been quite the "blogger queen" lately... sorry, this lady has a lot to say apparently.

baby update:

this baby will be making his debut in february, if not earlier. actually, my doctor is hoping to keep him "cookin"- her precise words, until the first week of february, when i'll be at 37 weeks.

why?

well last time i went to the doctor i gained 7 lbs, which she seemed to think was somewhat normal since this is the time where mamas gain the most weight (at the end, the end is near). but this time, five weeks later i've gained almost 9 lbs. WOAH LADY! up until my 7 month appointment i had gained a total of 13 lbs, now, i've gained 16 lbs in two months, ew. but the funny fact is that my belly is not growing. i'm actually measuring smaller than what i should be- because he's so low. which she is totally okay with. so where is this weight going?? TO MY FEET! i have cankels and my feet look like water balloons. yea, my hands kind of look that way at the end of the day as well. and sadly, my wedding rings are going to have to come off :(

this is nothing new to me- this is what happened last time with gavin... swollen feet and body and then, BAM, yep.... high blood pressure.

yeaaa. it's up there again. she took it three times today and each time it was high. what's that mean??? a sign of preeclampsia. great. just great. we did a urine sample as well to check the protein so i'll hear more about that tomorrow. and next we are having another ultrasound on tuesday to make sure things are looking okay with my placenta and that it's not so low anymore and then another doctor appointment to do another check up.

the end is near folks- maybe a little bit quicker than we had expected.

for now i am keeping my stress down, my feet up and googling tons of recipes with low sodium--fruits and veggies will be my best friend for the rest of this month.