downfalls of being a stay-at-homer

Cleaning.

I hate almost everything about cleaning. 

Dusting, toilets, floors, the fridge, stove, ect... I am not a fan.

One thing I do love to do is laundry. And dishes I guess, too. And picking up the boys's room, and my own. 

With two little boys who eat, play, color and make messes at 100 mph my house always seems to be a mess. I try and try my hardest to keep up with the messes but goodness... it's kind of overwhelming.

Last night at 10 pm I decided to spend the final hours of my birthday cleaning the kitchen floors. Like scrubbing on my hands and knees... This morning as of 9:48 am it looks like I did absolutely nothing to make it look better. Crumbs from the leftover pizza Gavin helped himself to this morning and some spilled some milk on the floor. Don't even get me started on the mud by the door. WHERE IS SUMMER? The sink is full of whatever Dan decided to throw in there this morning before heading off to work- he's oh so helpful in this department. 

I washed the walls yesterday. First time in five years that I wiped them down. I didn't know there was such a thing? Cleaning walls? Whatever would you do that for? Well, I did it. Cleaned those bad boys down. I don't think they look any different to be honest, but my mom said they could use a good cleaning. 

The living room seems to stay the cleanest which is mind boggling since that's where we spend the most hours during the day, and even the boys's room is clean. I vacuum it twice a week to rid the hair but other than that the dust seems to be non-existent. And I love to clean the windows and make their beds and have their rooms look tidy. I put away the toys about thirty times a day and really don't mind because those five minutes of it looking like it could be a "cute clean room" are all I need.  But the kitchen. My oh my. I just want it to be clean for an entire day. Even when we're gone it seems like the second we come home it's once again a mess.

So there you have it. My complaint for the day. Cleaning. BAH 

I'm going to happily skip down to the laundry room to gather the clean clothes and put them away :) 

PS- do y'all have a drying rack? We were given one from my grandma (who is giving away almost everything she owns) and I can't imagine why I went 25 years without one. Like Dan says, (hashtag) mom life. 

being a mommy

Today.

Our Sundays are usually pretty lazy and we get a whole-lotta nothing accomplished. Today, well, it really wasn't any different. I brought Gavin to Sunday School, made lunch (lets be honest, it was a combination of yesterdays leftovers), had quiet time/nap time, and took a trip to Buffalo.

We went to Buffalo to sell some snowmobile skis off of the new(er) snowmobile Dan bought while he was in Montana - that my friends, is a long, not necessary for a blog post, story. We also took a lovely drive through the Morries Buffalo Ford dealer, which is where we got my Explorer. Dan has a desire for a new truck and I can't blame him because "the great white" as we call her, has 350,000+ on that old gal.. and her time, well as sad as it will be for Dan.. is ticking. But he refuses to buy himself a new truck before her end because we have no space to store an extra truck.... again, another long story for another post.

I am surely drifting quickly from the point of this post.

We brought the boys with us to Buffalo because, well... they're our children. We bring them almost everywhere we go. We made it special and took them to the McDonalds play place where their hearts filled with joy as they ran around and slid and screamed and wore off the energy that has been held in for countless days because this Minnesota winter is killing every small child, slowly.

Anyways, on the way home Dan and I chatted and the boys chatted among themselves. That was until about Kimball. The entire way home Gavin said, "mommy, mommy, mommy".... and as I didn't respond because I was mid-conversation with Dan it just kept on, "mommy, mommy, mommy".

At one point, and I'm sure it was after Kimball.. but before Watkins, I turned around and in my not so happy to hear your non-stop chatter voice and said, "Gavin! Please be quiet. Let's play the quiet game".

If your a mom or a dad you know that the "quiet game" doesn't work long at all with a four year old. Not long at all.

It was right outside of Watkins by Mies that Gavin once again did the "mommy, mommy, mommy" and I grew more and more frustrated with his talk of John Deere tractors and the desire for him to get his own snowmobile. I asked again if we could be quiet so mommy and daddy could finish their conversation.

Dan started to get frustrated and the rest of the way home chuckled under his breath that he was more than excited to get out of the car.

We got home only to find my moms dog in our garage and if you know my husband at all it was pretty much the same as if she'd put her in our house. Our moods were not all too high and it was late.. and we still had bath time... and get things ready for preschool in the morning.. and go to bed. At 8:15 Gavin came out and said, "hey mom"  ... and all I said was "what?" in a horrible tone that would have even sent myself scurrying back into my bedroom. He trailed off to his bed and quickly fell alseep.

I had fabulous plans to do x, y and z tonight, even go to the gym... but my crummy attitude had me sitting on the couch, browsing the computer and watching the Oscars. And now I'm glad I did.

A preschool mom posted this and had me in immediate tears and feeling even worse.

I feel horrible that I put my little man to bed and was so rude and crabby towards him. I walked into his room with tears in my eyes and rubbed his back in hopes he would wake up so I could apologize. He didn't. But, I still feel awful. It's the small things that seem to mean the most to my four year old. The small things like putting him to bed at night and reading him stories, or doing his prayer with him or giving him the last of whatever I have- it makes him so happy. And here I am, being rude and ungrateful that my sweet little boy has something he wants to share with me.

I love being a mom. I love that my boys love me so much more than any other love I've ever experienced. I love that I am there for them and that they need me to be there for them, and help them and guide them, and keep them safe. Obviously, the list could go on and on.

Every mom should read that blog post and remember it, daily. I know I need to. I need to slow down and remember they are only little for awhile and right now I am (we are) everything to them. Someday they are going to be all that we have. Hug your littles tonight, my friends. Enjoy the silliness and smiles and joy they have in their little bodies. I can't even imagine the feelings I'm going to have when they don't need me as much as they do today.