we are on day seven of our newly expanded family of four. and i will say this, life. is. different.
...a caution: this is a LONG post!
on wednesday morning i woke up feeling UNrested and sick. i couldn't keep anything down and was so tired. but dan and i headed to the hospital around 7 am to start what seems to be one of the longest days of my life. we got checked in, hooked up to fluids and quickly hooked up to pitocin to start my induction. things didn't go quickly. by noon i was only dilated to four and my doctor ordered my pit dosage up. i was sitting, waiting and wishing for this labor to hurry up because i was feeling so sick and extremely tired. by 1 i still hadn't dilated any further. my doctor came back to my room and debated on wither or not we should break my water, since i wasn't feeling so great. i think she said something like "if we break it there's no turning back" and by that point i was NOT going home without a baby. she broke my water at 1pm and by 1:30 my contractions were two minutes apart and STRONG. the contraction monitor wasn't picking up my contractions so every time i'd have one, one of the nurses would have to push this button.. and they would push it after seeing my face turn bright red and in agonizing pain. around 1:45 i decided to get an epidural, and after about 15 minutes my contractions weren't too bad, but still strong. the pressure "down there" was what was killing me this time. i told the nurse, she checked me, and she immediately flew to her phone and called in the doctor. i started pushing at 2:30 and by 2:52 our little baby boy was welcomed in the world. he came out quickly and with his cord wrapped around his neck (not tight, thank goodness). one nurse said something about it being a girl and i TOTALLY freaked out. nope, he is a boy! jude andrew schroeder weighed in at 8lbs 3oz and 20 & 3/4 inches long. he has darker features, brown hair and dark eyes... he's pretty perfect :) when jude arrived he looked just like his dad, but now that he's been here for awhile he's looking like both of us and also a whole lot like gavin, in ways.
wednesday all of our family came to visit and, and an unknowing godmother. i decided to ask sarah, one of my best friends to be jude's godmother and she was shocked. she started to cry (if you know sarah, this isn't surprising) and was emotional about the whole ordeal. gavin came to visit and was pretty uninterested in the baby by this time. he got so many new toys and gifts from friends and family that the baby was not even on his radar. wednesday night jude didn't eat too much, but that's pretty normal for a newbie.
thursday morning we kind of just sat around looking at our newest little bundle and analyzed him over and over. we had a few visitors thursday as well and i begged to go home. i was so over being in the hospital. but since jude still wasn't eating great we were denied.
friday morning jude was circumcised so he slept the entire day and didn't eat at all. doctor haiwick was really concerned but thankfully let us leave and head for home around 3pm. THANK GOD! i needed to get home to see my little gavin. it was an emotional reunion with gavin. i cried and cried and hugged him and held him and carried him for probably the entire night, i missed him so much. i think i fell asleep crying about missing gavin. it was REALLY hard for me to be away. once we arrived home jude downed 10 CC of formula and from then on has been eating like a champ. we are using formula and jude has started drinking breastmilk from a bottle. i, for some reason, cannot get myself relaxed and comfortable to nurse jude, and it's just really awkward to do around gavin- he is too curious! i give MAD props to mothers with toddlers who have newborns and nurse! WAY TO GO! so i will pump and bottle feed until i can't do it anymore. jude is a pretty good sleeper. he sleeps for 3 hours at a time between feedings at night so that's decent for me. he's pretty much up from 6:30 to 11ish and then takes a huge nap in the afternoon, which gives me a good chunk of time to spend with gavin. one thing that we are going to work on this weekend is jude sleeping in his crib or bassinet. right now he only wants to sleep in my arms or his boppy pillow-- it is annoying! i guess during the day he sleeps in his swing and his bouncer deal, but we need to get him to sleep on a flat surface on his back.
i will say that i am going through a small amount of postpartum with this babe. simply because my anxiety goes up when i think of all the changes and not spending all my time and energy with gavin and now trying to split it up. thankfully, newborns sleep quite a bit so i will have some time to adjust and figure out a good schedule to make more and more time with gavin. and normally, i wouldn't share this for the world, but it seems like when i express my postpartum and anxiety it helps me get back grounded. dan has been super husband of the year! he is so supportive and so patient with me and my tears. i think this postpartum has brought us WAY closer than before, too!
other than my anxiety i feel great. i don't feel like i just had a baby... in the least bit. i am not sore and i have no "after baby problems"... i am ready to get up and start working off my baby belly leftovers, but three weeks should go fast? i'm dying over here. i am still watching my sodium intake because i can still get toxemia (version of preeclampsia) for up to a month. but my bloating is gone, oh yes! my face is looking normal and shoes fit :) i'm pretty excited for this weekend, dan is going to get up with jude one night- i can't wait to just sleep for more than 4 hours at a time! another woo hoo for me: we're going to hutch to get some baby things we spaced on and also grabbing a margarita at applebees, sans kids! which is something i've been craving for NINE months! since we're using formula mostly at night and breast milk during the day i'm not too worried about the whole "pump and dump" thing. i have some already stored. i am actually super excited to be spending a good amount of time with just my husband, no kids included!
so here's a quick pic. uploading pictures is just not too important on my list of things to do today.
so what do you think?
brothers? can you tell which one is which? gavin is on the left and jude is on the right. they kind of look a like?
