merry christmas

The Schroeder Family 2013 New Year/Christmas card

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!
I think I can easily say this was the best Christmas ever. We spent a great deal of time (in fact five different Christmases) together and didn't argue once. Our boys were more than excited to see family and friends around the Christmas tree, eat delicious food and of course unwrap those presents. This year was a little bit more special because Gavin understands Santa a little bit more and now gets that the whole reason we celebrate Christmas is because it's baby Jesus's birthday- now that is special. Both of the boys had no "temper tantrums" at any of the places we visited, and that makes this mama happy!

I didn't get the dog (like I need some more chaos) I wanted and Dan didn't get the new snowmobile he asked Santa for, but I think we'll suffice. You kind of forget about the "wants" when you become an adult and think more about the giving aspect of Christmas. It's truly amazing.

The little boys are little boys and were more than excited about the gifts that they received. I'm pretty sure we need to find the boys a new interest other than construction toys and John Deere tractors, we're soon going to need to put an addition on the house for storage for these massive, clunky toys. Gavin has discovered a new interest in legos and I am a little OCD to have them all in my house. Not for the mess but because they all come in sets and you have to build this contraption that moves and swivels and I am obsessed. I could spend about five hours building and sculpting and playing with them- what am I six?! Jude is still loving his books- but only "real life" books- trains, construction, tractors, animals. He shows little to no interest in fiction or tv for that matter. I would say the closest thing to amusement is the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song, after that's over he's back to his path of destruction. And when I say destruction I mean it. You can imagine what his room looks like. He is currently sitting in the fridge re-arranging my condiments and snorting like a pig. It is (hashtag) never a dull moment.

I am grateful that we had so much to celebrate this year. In fact, I'm grateful that Dan and I could celebrate it together, as a family. Because at one point I wasn't too sure we'd make it to the 25th of December. I do not shy away from talking about my relationship with Dan, it.is.hard. We drive each other to our breaking points and honestly are ready to walk away 20% of the year. But this Christmas we gave our kids the best thing we could give them and that was to try even harder to make our marriage something meaningful to each other and this family a happy one. Marriage is something that comes with no manual and goes many different ways. I, myself, have never seen an amazing marriage. I don't know ANYONE out there who has one. In fact, I don't think there really is an "ideal" marriage so I have nothing to go by. I don't know the rules and I don't think it is something I'll ever get better at, I will never be the relationship expert people come to for advice, I just want my marriage to be better than it has been in the past. And there is only one way to go from that spot... and it is up.

We've both done a lot of growing in the past year. We met the harsh reality that outside others really do have a lot to do with the inside of your marriage. The negativity surrounds you more than the uplifting positivity of others. More so with me than Dan, and more so mentally than physically- if you know what I mean. Just to be 100% clear and not start a rumor that came from this blog, no- no cheating scandals or any sorts of that.  I "grieved" a loss of a few friends because they weren't really there to be my friends and made me feel depressed and upset and questioning everything about Samantha Jo (fucking) Schroeder. And that made me feel at a loss with who I am as a wife and made my family suffer. This year I was negative and let my mind be dragged down and question so much. I loss the confidence that I've had for 25 years. Confidence that I had when I was fat and pregnant, or just fat from being pregnant, confidence that made me do that 13.1 mile half marathon with people who I knew were way faster than me, confidence in being a daughter who is mind blown with the fact her mom is losing her house to foreclosure and moving away from from me, and my boys, and the town she grew up in, I just basically lost confidence I've always had in myself. And the fact that I let these negative thoughts and people take that away from me and make myself feel horrible and let my family suffer really upsets me more than any of those reasons listed above. So like I said there is no way to go but up. 2013 was a great year, so much to celebrate... but 2014 is going to be much better. Growing back together with Dan, being a mom to my sweet boys, getting the negativity and sadness out of my life and being that same person I've been for the last 25 years. I truly can't wait.

And the first start to 2014 is a much needed face-lift to this blog. It needs some help. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, and I hope you have a Happy NEW Year!

AMAZING!

i want to post this video so i can always go back and watch it... how freaking cool is this?
i totally cried.

johnny cash

Oh facebook.
Everyone and their brother is doing these "7 random facts" lists on facebook and it's really interesting. I've "liked" a few and they've given me numbers and I still have yet to respond, via facebook, to them. So I'm going to do these "7 things" on my blog. I've had two people say I have 7 and 8.. so I'll do 15.

1. I have two major regrets in my life. Although they would've changed my life 100% I would to this day go back and change the two decisions and choices I made.

2. I lied to anyone and everyone who would listen up until 2nd grade. I told people I had a twin sister, Sarah, whom died at birth. My mom had to sit me down and explain that lying is wrong and told me the story about the boy who cried wolf. I didn't understand it.. Ironically enough my parents were planning on naming me Sarah up until I was born. Creepy! I stopped telling that lie the day we moved away from Grove City.

3. I think Johnny Cash could have been my soul mate.

4. I have five friends who I don't think my life would operate without. Three who have been my besties for almost two decades. I wouldn't be who I am without them.

5. I have always been thankful that I am an only child. I never wanted a sibling. Now I wouldn't mind having an older brother.

6. I never wanted kids. Thought they were adorable but I never wanted the responsibility of caring for someone else. When I got pregnant I thought my life was over- little did I know it was just the beginning.

7. I wish I would have pursued a career in photography. I love to be behind the camera and my dream job would be out West capturing the beauty that those states hold. Working for National Geographic or something similar would be amazing.

8. I could eat spaghetti every day. Cold, warm... it doesn't matter. Anything with pasta and some red sauce is a favorite.

9. I enjoy getting dressed up in girly dresses and do my hair. I don't think I could live without fingernail polish and my curling iron.

10. I miss my grandpa more than words can describe. I'd do anything to see him again.

11. I think the word Love is bogus.

12. My sophomore year in High School I rode around town and sang Hot Rod Lincoln and Beer Run. I thought I was amazing that I could recite both songs without any music. I still can :)

13. I vow never to push my kids to be someone they don't want to be.

14. I REALLY want to try to be sober, 100% sober for an entire year. See what difference it makes in my life. But I am not really willing to start anytime soon. I like wine and whiskey too much as of now.

15. I have never watched as much tv as I do now that I'm a stay a homer. I watch a lot of junk tv. Tv shows that are slightly embarrassing and I only share that love with one other person and we keep it a secret.... Shhhhhhhhh.

these are my favorites from our session. i'm obsessed with the way sarah captured my sweet boys. although our afternoon was quite busy, and these little men didn't particularly want their photos taken, sarah kept snapping that flash to get me the ones that i cherish the most, the candid shots.

dreaming west.

doesn't matter if it's winter or sweet summertime... i'm loving west even more these days.

wyoming (devils tower), in february. 

bozeman (fairy lake), in july

i'm in love with the raw beauty that the mountains and wooded areas create. there are a few blemishes in these photos but i couldn't start to "edit" them. too beautiful. snow, sun... i'll take it.

dramatic

WARNING: what you are about to read is entirely dramatic. proceed with caution.

what you are about to read is a version of my own personal hell. i know there are far more problems and i am a healthy gal, but this... well this was pretty much one of the worst times of my life. again, proceed with caution :)

yesterday was a day just like any day. i woke up, got dressed, made some not-so-great-tasting banana, chocolate chip and oatmeal muffins..... (they were TOO healthy), got the boys ready, got dressed and BAM!

my eyesight went blurry, i felt as though my eyes crossed, my balance went haywire and the slight feeling of this nasty headache arose. by this time i know what is coming. it's a migraine. i do have a prescription for these terrible things but when you haven't got one in almost two years you seem to misplace your medication. i finished about my duties to make it to the chiropractor which i know would help and grabbed a few alieve's. i just about got done with everything i needed to do to get me out of the house when it became too powerful. so there it was. me, my two kids and this nasty migraine which knocks me off of my feet.

gavin was too sweet and helped me get jude ready to go, he opened the doors and  gave maddy her food. once he got settled into the car he told me how sorry he was that this was happening to me. WHAT A SWEET CHILD. we got ourselves into the car and headed to grandmas. now, normally i would of bunkered down in my own house, but i was determined to get to the chiro and to my moms house (surprise, surprise that she didn't have her phone charged) so i could drop off my kids. well, that car ride, the you know, seven or so blocks to drive was too much. i immediately got out and threw up all over the side of her garage. because if you have a migraine you usually get this horrible nausea that accompanies it. i ran into her house, and continued my vomiting for the next 30 minutes. by the way i found my prescription- didn't mention that.

so my sweet mom took my kids, fed them and got them ready for naptime and quiet time while i took a 5 hour nap at 10 in the morning. bless her heart! i am pretty lucky this one came while my mom was home on mea.

imagine your worst hangover. the kind that the entire day after you can't hold down any food and can only lay in one position. that is what this nausea feels like. it's like one wrong move can send you screaming to the bathroom. and the headache- well, i've actually considered slamming my head into a brick wall- i'm pretty sure the pain is less than what a migraine feels like. now, i'm sure many other migraine sufferers might not have it this bad, but wow.... it's awful. our neighbor, jeromy, has them too so i get TONS of sympathy out of him and we compare stories--- it's actually quite pathetic. but normally i don't get much compassion from dan. actually if dan were home he would've probably left me at home with the kids and said to "man up" - whatever that should mean for a woman. to be honest i never gave it out either. how bad can a headache be?

i remember this girl rachel at juut used to get migraines all the time and she would walk around the salon with sunglasses on and crouch on her knees, begging to go home. i used to despise this. when you work in the salon business if your client, who was supposed to get a facial before the haircut you were giving her, and doesn't get that facial from the person they desire.... they are crabby. or they might cancel all-together- which puts you out of that client and a big gap in your day. but now i feel for her. the fact that sometimes she would have to service people while she was going through this is disgusting.

thankfully (if the past should repeat itself), i am good for another migraine for at least another year. crossing my fingers this is correct. i was so terrible yesterday... i actually swatted jude's head when he tried to grab for my glasses and i yelled at the boys far too much. i even missed my chiro appointment and didn't call and cancel because i was bobbing in the loo. we canceled the trip to the apple orchard and my house is a mess. i have a lot of making up to do today..... and yet, here i am, on the computer. uploading photos and writing on a blog i haven't had time for since the beginning of september.

good luck to any other migraine sufferer out there. i suggest you make it into see your local doctor, get a prescription and put it somewhere you know where it's at. as for me, currently, i am still battling a pretty severe headache. today though, it is not a migraine- i am helping it with alieve and mountain dew. a combination that never disappoints.

a little fall photo action

just a few of our quick photo sessions we have outside.... 

OBSESSED with these photos in the tall grasses

what a hunny

the very same day she broke her ankle. 

check that booty and that adorable little pumpkin

AHHHH my heart explodes :) 

wheres fall?

So I'm a little behind in posting about summer, and to be honest it's such a long post that I'm going to skip over it until my big "wrap up the year" post that I have in mind... There's so much to write about and normally, if I'm on the computer it's for a mere ten minutes before one of my little munchkins needs me. I have pictures to upload and stories to tell... bare with me.

Anyways, where is fall? I really mean it when I say I am sick of this heat... no, not the heat, the humidity. I can't wait for that to be long gone. I am all about the heat. I could live in 100+ heat, as long as there is 0% humidity. I hate feeling like I'm suffocating when I'm outside, and that my friends, is what I feel like when I'm out of the air conditioning. I long for those early fall mornings where it's nice and crisp out and I can sit outside with my cup of coffee on the deck before the littles wake up. So far that hasn't happened once. Probably due to the fact that I'm still in "summer time" where I have no desire to go to bed at night and am up until at least 11pm every night. I know it's ridiculous... "why don't you go to bed earlier?"...... Well usually I am reading an amazing book or sitting outside enjoying the beautiful night coolness.

I also can't wait for running tights and long sleeved shirt runs. I am a "man sweater" (in my own words). When I exercise I sweat uncontrollably. Not really in my armpits but in my legs and chest. It's honestly disgusting to run the lake and feel like you might have pee'd your pants or look like I just dumped an entire bottle of water over my chest. Ask Stacey, she's seen me at my absolute worst. So fall runs will hopefully rid me of that problem.

Did you run that half marathon yet, Sam? I remember you posting about it awhile back.
-No, no I didn't. I am 100% proud of Stacey and her sister for completing that hot and humid run! I chose not to do it. At last minute (two weeks before) I decided to switch my half marathon to the Monster Dash at the end of October. I had to pay a small fee to switch it but I am so glad I did it. I don't know that my body was ready for 13.1 miles. I had far too many "off weeks" where I was on vacation or didn't want to run in the humidity, plus I still haven't surpassed the 9 mile hump that I've been stuck on for the entire summer. My times seem pretty steady. I keep a 9:30-10:13 pace, I just need to keep going on the distance. Wish me luck. I know that this Monster Dash will be here before I know it. Dan and I plan on making a small weekend out of it and staying in the cities for a night out after my completion. You are welcomed to come cheer me on :)

Gavin has head back to school and he is loving every second. It's amazing how the structure in the morning has helped with his attitude problem. We seem to have less temper tantrums since he's been back at preschool. Jude seems to like that Gavin's gone in the morning, too. He loves to play with big bros toys and have full range of our (little) home.

I can't wait for pumpkin patches, apple orchards and visits up north to see my mom in her new home. Oh did I mention she moved?

So I ran into, almost literally folks, a friend/follower of my blog and she commented how she loved reading it to keep in touch with what's going on in our lives and in the lives of others.... and I thought....... WHAT BLOG? haha. It's been awhile!

Summer has seriously almost come to an abrupt ending. When did it start? I feel like we just started the beautiful sunshine and high heats. And now, well august is almost over.

I've traveled to Vegas, Bozeman, Duluth, and to numerous weddings, gone to many waterparks, pools and lakes, yet I am still wishing we had more time to enjoy sweet summertime. It's obviously something we hold dear to our hearts here in Minnesota since summer is (usually) only about four short months. Lets see what mother nature has in store of us for this fall, huh.

As much as I am going to miss summer I will say that fall is probably the most beautiful season in Minnesota and we honestly have nothing to do after the first weekend in September. As much as I love these weddings we have attended and were a part of, I am "weddingdout" - again, obviously not a word, but I like it- it describes how I feel at the moment... just the exact moment. I'll get over it soon. I will say that these last two weddings of August are going to be the best parties I'm sure I've ever attended. Have you ever been to a Koch family party? If you have you are smiling from ear to ear because it's always a good time and there is usually ample amount of alcohol to be consumed, and I'm sure this wedding is no different. I have a busy morning helping with some wedding hair for the bridesmaids and I can't wait to see Franky K tie the knot to such an amazing girl. Brings me back to the day when Frank rode his bike all the way to my house when we lived at Minnebelle, grabbed a drink and I believe he kicked my dog too?  We've had so many memories that we always indulge in reminiscing on when we are back together. So many that could have put us in jail and/or the hospital. Clearly, we all made it out safe. He's "technically" the second person to tie the knot in our group of high school friends so this should be an amazing time.

And not to be outdone by the Hawes wedding. Again, these people know how to party. That is a weekend in itself because Dan and I are both a part of the wedding party so you can imagine how busy we'll be from Friday to Sunday. The fact that these two have been together for so long makes this wedding one of those that people have been dying for. I know what is going to be taking place and the décor and the bridesmaids dresses so there's not much of an element of surprise for me but still, I can't wait for it. Again with these two our memories go way back and we honestly can treat each other like family since I feel we are that close. FINALLY, she will be a Hawes.
Again, two weddings back to back that mean the world to me. It's a great way to (almost) close out our wedding season. Then we can look forward to our Mexican vacation we might be going on :) By March I'm going to be dreaming of a beach.... And praying that my friends don't get engaged during "engagement season" as I call it. I already have three weddings to look forward to in the 2014 season. BRING IT!

one... done.

check off the ironman bike ride for this lady.

the ride went well. as well as can be expected. i would be lying if i said i felt great after the race. one thing i will say is that the padded shorts helped me out, big time. the other thing i will say about them is that the "pad" and yes, that is what it feels like- just having a baby and putting on one of the JUMBO pads from the hospital- is not long enough. it needs to cover the crotch a little bit better. whatever. i am fine. just an fyi for you "bikers" out there.

the ride was gorgeous. we rode most of the morning in a beautiful state park, gateway trail i believe it was called. i would defiantly like to go back and bring lilly and ride on the trails there. beautiful. after our first and only rest stop we headed onto the roads which were full of... HILLS. now, i don't know if i mentioned that i haven't rode a bike since last summer. i mean i have rode stationary bikes at the gym as a warm up for my workouts. but on a road, with hills?? that's one thing i would normally avoid. well sam, you signed up for a bike ride in stillwater..... a hilly town. what did you expect? i almost died on the four block uphill battle... seriously. at one point this old man looked at me and said, "that downhill ride will be worth it...."  um, sure... it wasn't- just to clarify. i was actually thinking about calling it a day. getting off my bike and calling the number to have someone come pick me up, but i didn't.

kim and i rode together almost the entire way. we got separated at one point and i could only see her bright green tee when i was climbing (dying) up a hill. somehow we got back together and finished the 29 mile bike ride together. i believe we finished the bike ride in just over 2 hours? we should have been more on top of setting a clock and actually bringing a garmin or something to calculate the distance, speed, ect. 29 miles. 29 miles. 29 miles.

again.... 29 miles.

i think i would do it again? maybe actually train for it the next time around. oddly enough i wasn't sore and actually went to bootcamp the day after. hoorrraaaaaaay for me!

i also will give myself another pat on the back. lately i have been struggling to surpass the normal 6 miles i run every week. after my long day of jury duty (more on that later) i decided to head out with maddy and run. i didn't look at my garmin once, just focused on the single headphone i had in my ear with my out-of-date ipod, and focused on maddy. making sure she left the other runners, walkers, dogs alone. (i do not put maddy on a leash, she criss crosses back and fourth in front of me if i do). anyways, i crushed that 8 mile run! i did it in just over an hour. 1 hour and 21 minutes. i wish i could bring maddy to my half marathon. she keeps my brain focused on her, not what negative thoughts i have about giving up. i honestly think that's why i made the 8 mile, and didn't stop once.

tomorrow i am walking for something i have a great passion for: the humane society. i can't wait. the boys, maddy and my mom will be walking 5 miles in golden valley to support the humane society of minnesota. and dan will be building at the new playground at lake ripley. we've got a busy saturday ahead.

i also get to pick up my bridesmaid dress for katy and blairs wedding. i have never been so excited to get a dress in my life.

lets get physical

in the past almost three months i've spent over $300 on bootcamp, gym fees, race fees and everything just to be able to work out/run/get physical. urgh, kind of urks me! that's not including the never ending accumulation of work out clothes; tees, tanks, shorts, pants, socks... and i would like to purchase a new pair of shoes this summer as well. i wanted to be a little bit more prepared with my races this year. last year i quickly signed up for a few 5ks and didn't "plan" very well. this year i am on top of it.

i wasn't much of a workout/run enthusiast until last year when a few of my friends started getting really, really serious about running/working out/bettering themselves and i decided to jump on that bandwagon. so thank you danielle, kristin and katy! they are more advanced in their running careers than i currently am but i think they are a great inspiration.

having jess as a bootcamp coach really proved to me that i can totally push myself farther than i think i can. as bootcamp comes to a close i am 100% serious about hiring her as a personal trainer for the summer. which really scares me! she's so good at what she does, and she's super intense. i don't know that i would be able to handle her workouts all the time. bootcamp has been amazing. i know that working out is far more of mental stress for me than a pysical one. my body can totally handle it, its my head. bootcamp has taught me that i can do it, my bodys not going to give up.. a full hour of nonstop cardio and strength is not going to kill me. and i use that on my runs now as well. there's no way that my body is going to fail (well, except for that knee of mine...) it's my head that makes me want to walk. and once you walk once i feel you are more inclined to do it over and over again. so i hope to never walk again on a race or a casual run :)

races:
APRIL: ironman bike race... not really a huge "biker" but my friend, kim, talked about it and i thought it would be a great idea. 25 miles on a bike should be easier than 13.1 running, right? but wait... i haven't even neared that 13.1 goal. still pushing 6.  the race is rain or shine so lets see what this bi-polar minnesota weather is like. i'm a little nervous, not gonna lie. i could easily do 16 miles last year, but i've been on a bike only once this year.
MAY: the "rave" run. nighttime, music, blacklights.... SIGN ME UP! and the race for women empowerment around lake ripley.
JULY: as of now i have no races planned for july. if anyone has any planned, let me know! i would really like to do a 10k or something larger than the normal 5k to prepare myself and body for the half.
AUGUST: half...... marathon (big gulp right there, folks). i really wanted to do mudman again this year but its the same day as frank and britts wedding  and i know i will not be up for an entire night of drinking after doing mudman. the duluth mudman is the same day as katy and blairs reception in july, so it will have to wait until next year.
SEPTEMBER: nothing for this month either.. but it's only april so i'm assuming i should be able to find something?
OCTOBER: i can't wait for the timberdash. its close by in monticello and now i know what a "trail run" is all about. gives me some more time to do more trail running and learn more about inclines and breathing techniques, which is what killed me last year... and the fall onto all fours, yep the fall might of started the race out on the wrong foot.

it's april 11th today. there is a good foot of snow on the ground and i'm afraid my indoor running is going to continue for a great length of time.

do it yourself!

we have been doing numerous projects around our house and i couldn't be more excited about the progress we've made so far. new paint, new trim, new couches, new wall decor, new pillows, new accents, new blinds and window treatments. i am SO happy. i am even happier because dan has a fire under his ass. i refuse to let anyone into our home (besides our parents) for the entire month of april so we can finish the last minute things to "recreate" our living room. which was outdated when we bought this house, and three years later, yes still outdated.

i'm IN LOVE with our new couches. our previous nasty, bulky green couches were from i'm guessing 1997? from when my mom was married to dick, and we lived on fourth street. i believe they were bought for dereks graduation party...  lets see that was when i was in third grade. that's disgusting! the couch is at the dump and the chair (dan couldn't part with it) is in the basement for dans nights that he spends on the couch. ;)  the only major thing we need to do for the living room is painting the fireplace. the fireplace that i dream of someday taking out of our living room because it is old, unused and ruins the "flow" of our living room. but for now, its here. we're going to have to give our munchkins to one of our parents for the day and night if we want this painting project to run smoothly. we've talked to some "paint experts" on what we're going to need to do. it will be a big project.

the paint in the living room is something i'm still not quite in love with. i LOVE LOVE LOVE it during the daylight. with the natural sunlight shining in. but when i turn on the lights and it's dark.... i'm not a fan. i knew i should have gone alone to pick out paint. it's about two shades darker than i had originally wanted... dan wanted this color. whatever. it's paint! i guess in two years or so if i still don't like it i can always change it. i will tell you that when we start our kitchen re-vamp in the month of june i will go ALONE, sans kids and husband to pick out the paints we will be using. i have never been more excited to a trip to menards/depot/any diy store. i've been dreaming of new cabinets and counter-tops since, well you guess it, three (now almost four) years ago. plus new flooring and decor. we were planning on dan doing all of the work, but we are going to "hire out" for the cabinets .. something that is rare occurrence for any construction worker. we just don't have the time to dedicate to this major project. this house won't look anywhere near the house we purchased. i might even have dan swayed to get new appliances; a new fridge and stove. our fridge has been a sore in our behinds for the past four months. it just stops working. we are going to fix it this one last time and then purchase a new one if the problem continues. can you believe my husband is putting money towards appliances? maybe it's because i found his new "must have" tools in the garage the other day and was somewhat unimpressed? either way i will take it!  currently all of our food and drinks are in the basement. i should be so grateful that we have an extra fridge down there so i don't have to put our food in a cooler or something but running downstairs for the smallest thing is getting irritating.

next on our list: landscaping and yard care. i need this new, and much hated, snow to melt so we can start the revamp for the yard. i have my mom on board to help do some front landscaping and dan is going to sod the backyard. dan has plans to expand our garage this summer as well?? i am not sure where he seems to come up with these ideas or the time to do them. we'll see if this actually happens. we do need more room for all of our outdoor extras. a front deck is something we've talked about for years as well... i don't know how that will fit into our summer plans. but it is still in the back of our minds.

i am hoping that we will someday move away from this little house, as it is getting smaller and smaller as the boys grow up. i know that this "revamp" will help with our resale value and we can come one step closer to a larger house or a big move to bozeman. :) i can dream, right?

Moving

So forgive mr for my many errors in this post

I am on the iPad because I cannot seem to find the power cord for the computer. Gavin is at preschool so I can't ask him where he put it.

We are moving! After years and years of dreaming...... We are doing it. We are moving to beautiful Bozeman, Montana.


Yes, this is a lie.

 I DESPERATELY want to move, and yes, we have thought and looked into the idea. We've been looking online at Bozeman real estate and it is impossible to find a home in Bozeman under $250,000. We could easily rent a house or townhouse if we chose to move and that would always be a possibility. Looking at the price value of our current home and what we could do with it, sell/rent.  Dan's pay scale would drop significantly because the need is not as high in Montana, so I would have to go back to work - which will happen no matter what. I've read about Bozeman schools and the education out there.  I mean we've done most of the research.

The only thing that keeps us here, and this is the only major reason- income. Which is all that is holding us back.

Sometimes I feel like it would solve many many many of our problems. Make a lot of things less complicated. Bring us closer. Make us live a completely different life. Bring our kids up a different way. Rely on different things. Change the way we are. Depend more upon each other which is LACKNG now more than ever. Bond our family. Make us more grateful.


Of course we would miss our family. But that's what holidays are for.  Plus my mom retires in two years... She WOULD move out there. I feel like a move would change a lot of our friendships as well, and that wouldn't be such a bad thing either.

I pray this will be a possibility and not just a dream. I feel like our little vacation out west will solidify the fact that I want to make this happen now more than ever.

any cuter

as promised.... some pictures... 

gosh i just love him.

thanks to renee for these amazing photos of my little love.

one year old?

my sweet little jude baby is one year old.
i am sad that we didn't get to celebrate his day of birth, on his actual day of birth + a year... but i'm almost positive it didn't effect him in anyway. yes, his birthday was over two weeks ago... i am late in posting.

i swear jude could eat us all under the table. the amounts of food he can devour is mind blowing! i can somewhat remember these times with gavin. i think gavin ate an entire can of spaghetti o's once. he only has an actual bottle in the mornings now. which is totally my choice. chicken, fruit, any veggie, pasta, cracker, chip, graham cracker... anything is judes favorite. actually, come to think about it i don't think jude dislikes any food in particular.

we are now crawling. the actual crawl started just about a month ago. otherwise it was all army crawls. i blame it on all of our hardwood floors and no carpet, but that's probably just me making excuses. he is almost walking independently. my sweet jude baby is a little bit behind in the walking gross motor skill. nothing alarming, just something that will come a little later. gavin was the exact same way. he didn't walk until about 13 months. and no, i'm not comparing the two boys, just making a reference. these boys are two polar opposites when it comes to "baby years".

the snow is not something jude loves. probably because his first encounter was a giant face plant into the white, cold stuff. we cannot wait for spring. he loves the stroller and to see watch things as we pass by. i can't wait for him to walk on the grass for the first time and to play in the dirt!

maddy and bella make jude laugh uncontrollably. it is amazing the joy that these two dogs bring to his life. he loves to grab onto maddy and pull her into his face. which in return she gives him really slobbery kisses. it's somewhat adorable.

"heeeeeeeeeeeeeey jude" yep... we still get that. if you are not a beatles fan like this mom then i suggest you listen to hey jude. it really is a catchy tune. it is kind of crazy the amounts of comments we get on jude's name. most people love it and sing me a line from the famous beatles song. and we've had a few people look at us in confusion when we say his name. and actually i've heard from about five people it was on their "baby list" of names. it's been on my list for quite some time... and actually i would've probably named the baby jude if it was a girl or a boy. it can be a "gender neutral" name. i love saying jude's full name: jude andrew schroeder. it just flows so well... actually i think jude andrew is pretty amazing in itself. thanks andy for having a fabulous name.

he's a lengthy one. towering over most of the one year olds at 32 inches. his weight is up there too, 24 big ones. 80th% for height, 60th% for weight. he wears a size 3 diaper, even though he has a ghetto booty he has a tiny little waistline. the boy can still fit into 6-12 month clothing, and can wear some 18 month hand me downs from gavin.

my eye concerns with jude are still there. although we've gotten plenty of reassurance from doctors and eye doctors i will always be a little nervous about it... until that day when it goes away or i don't notice it as much. almost everyone i talk to about it doesn't even notice it. just me i guess.

small boys favorites are mom and dad. since we left for our west vacations he has become clingy to the both of us. it is very sweet and very annoying at the same time. leaving a room or running out to the garage quick is an immediate scream session. gavin is totally annoyed with it as well.

blankie #1 and #2 are something that jude adores. we do not leave for a long car trip without them. and when he's upset he will crawl into his room and pull one or both of them out to smash his face into. i love that he loves his blankie.. i had one for years and years and years and it's his only "comfort" thing. no nuks, no thumbs, nothing... just blankie.

LOVES water. bath time could easily last over an hour if i let it.

"rock me mama like a wagon wheel, rock me mama anyway you feel, hey mama rock me".... ask me any phrase from the song. i know it. we listen to it everyday, at least five times a day. it will calm jude down like crazy. it's the #1 song on dan and my "top listened to songs" on our iphones. we're hoping that maybe he'll want to become a famous country singer and make millions of dollars and give mom and dad plenty for introducing him to country music.

mickey mouse clubhouse is the only thing jude loves on tv. when the theme song plays he smiles and screams in delight. it's adorable. it lasts only about three minutes.

jude still loves to attack bellas food and water dish like it is going to harm him in some way. we haven't quite figured out what the fascination is... it's probably like when jude pulls out wires from the dvd player and i say no, and he smiles. you know, something i think we all did for the majority of our childhood; give a devilish grin to our parents and continue to do the naughty task.

he is such a joy... and i know i say it over and over again but we are so lucky he is a part of our family. our lives would be so dull without him! bring on the next year jude baby.

(pictures to follow shortly)

wyoming.

our wyoming trip was quite the adventure. seven girls, two suv's.... a million miles... and horrible weather. both the way to wyoming and back to minnesota were horrific driving conditions. at one point i was thrilled to look down and see the speedometer reach 60! once we arrived to wyoming things changed, for the better. sunny skys, highs of 40, beautiful scenery, everything one could want from the state of wyoming. the doering cabin is extraordinary! a "cabin" is defiantly not the right term. it's stunning! i would love to spend a month or two living there, not visiting. 

the wine and booze flowed far too well. we even ventured into town to visit the local bar, "ponderosa" where  i quickly feel into love with the cowboys. their voices were amazing, and at one point i think we asked cowboy "roy/burell/kyle" if he would read us the phone book. he declined. you can just about imagine the looks we got walking into a bar full of cowboys and "towns folk". but most nights we just settled into the cabin for a long night of conversation and alcohol. 

we hiked around devils tower and discovered all about it's history. it's fascinating to know how it came to shape and what the native americans beliefs surround the area. the weather was perfect, and at one point we were all sunbathing on rocks. 

the drive home was a doosey. i almost ran us out of gas and we entered the worst driving conditions i've ever encountered. the highways closed and we spent another night together in dawson, mn. the picket fence motel is not a place i would voluntarily spend another night in. we finally arrived safely back in minnesota early tuesday morning. i was THRILLED to see my little men.

welcome to the cabin 

that, my friends, it quite the view

the beautiful cabin we called home for a few days

taking a little stroll down the driveway.. with the cows

devils tower

devils tower was so fascinating to me... i could have stayed there all day.