the snow

ahhh christmas is over. and in many ways i am so happy. no more traveling in the horrible snow and gavin can get back to his normal routine. which will make for a happier baby!

it was just about at this time last year that i FINALLY discovered that i was pregnant. so many emotions and thoughts running through my head at that time, and now i have a beautiful baby boy.

now we get to enjoy the snow. bundle the babe up and get him outside. he doesn't quite understand the snow yet, but next year at this time ohh, he'll be running around like crazy. cannot wait to make a snowman and snow angels with him!



all of this snow is good for one thing, well maybe two...

SLEDDING! we got gavin into my old sled that i used to use when i was his age. he couldn't quite sit up because it was so slippery, but he liked it!

..and for dan and the boys, snowmobiling. now, he just needs to fix it so he can go out west in feburary.



my two WONDERFUL boys on Christmas Day!
dan and i are truely blessed to have such an amazing and happy baby.

'tis the season

IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME IN THE CITY...
ringaling, children sing.. soon it will be christmas day!

FINALLY there is snow on the ground, and i can't complain about the temperatures, because so far it's been pretty nice out. this is one great time of the year. so much love and laughter, all the family is together and ahh gavin seems to love wrapping paper :) he likes it way more than what's underneath it, which makes me smile! now, i just wish he would always like the paper better than the gifts.. i doubt that will happen though.

we enjoyed this weekend to the fullest!
friday we started, yes started our christmas shopping. it was extremely short lived since my mom showed up an hour late to babysit gavin and we got to st cloud around 7:45. we ended up just getting gifts for the schroeder side.. so that means we'll be going shopping again this week! I CANNOT wait to get gavin his present!!! ahhh :)
saturday we headed to rick and jenn's ugly sweater party, which is always so entertaining. almost everyone had an ugly sweater, which was nice to see. i made the drink "strip and go naked" and all of my clothes stayed on, thank goodness.
sunday morning i awoke to the happiest little boy. his shreaks ended up waking up jeremy and jeremy commenting on how gavin sounds like a girl. HAHA! cooper popped his head into the kitchen around 10 while gavin and i were taking our cat nap on the couch. coop decided to go wake the boys up, and then proceeded to plow out our driveway. THANKS COOP! :)
the rest of the day we spent time at the schroeders for an early christmas celebration. the kiddos loved the gifts and shortly after opening them decided to take naps. the boys went and did their manly things outside and cassidy, mel, sarah, shari and i sat around and chit chatted. we were there for just about 6 hours and when it was 7 i decided we needed to head home. gavin got the cutest outfit from shawn and sarah!!! and it's 12-24 months, which is perfect since we don't have too many older outfits! perfect for next christmas, if he doesn't keep growing like he has been. if that's the case we're going to have to go buy a WHOLE new wardrobe and soon!
kristin stopped by today with a 'little something' for gavin. TWO ADORABLE onesies with the words "chubby" and "loveable"with the dictionary definations on them. ahhh what a lucky little man i have! THANK YOU KRISSY!

now the countdown is on! t minus (technically) three days till christmas eve, which is when we do most of our celebrating. heading to grandma cheryl's for supper and to grandma audrey's for presents and drinks. then christmas day we'll all go down to new ulm and celebrate with shari's side of the family... and christmas day means gavin will be SIX MONTHS OLD, already! wow, time is flying by. soon we'll be celebrating his first birthday- which honestly gets me a little emotional.

AHH i love this time of year. family family family :) and soon it will be 2010! which reminds me that i have absolutely nothing planned yet.

leaving

today was justins funeral and it was such an emotional service. there were tons of tears, many smiles and some laughs. he will be missed always, and never forgotten.

grandma shari came over to watch gavin while we were at the service. it seems like when gav's with his grandma shair he dosen't want to sleep, just play. this makes for a very tired baby when mom comes home.
there was a weird feeling that i got today. as we sat around with friends at justin's lunchen... i felt like i didn't have a baby. i mean i was talking about gavin and comparing him to danielle's brothers newborn baby... it was so strange. a bunch of people were heading to kickers to have a drink or two, or five after the lunchen and i was ready to go. it didn't even once hit me that no, i have to go home to my baby. i really don't know why this happened... it never has before. even when we were driving home i was all ready to go spend the rest of the afternoon with smith and dan.
i think this is the first time i've gone out and not had gavin on my mind. where is he? is he okay? is he being fussy? did he eat? nap? poop? smile? crawl? laugh? scream? i mean, NONE of that went through my head. i think i might of had a little bit too much on my mind and in my head. it was crazy.
we did come home. dan and smith went into the garage to do their manly things and fix god only knows what.. i came inside to find my little man in grandma's arms, half asleep with his hands over both of eyes. one look at him and i frogot about everything that i had gone through this morning and all of the crazy emotions that were going through my head. i forgot for the first time since friday that justin was gone. i fell completely in love with him the second he moved his hands from his eyes, opened his eyes and looked at me with a smile.

...a loss

on friday, december 4th we had a horriable loss..
justin shoutz was killed in a two car accident. his car was struck on the drivers side killing him instantly. his cousin, brandon, was air lifted to st cloud hospital with serious injuries. the driver of the jeep, which hit justins car, was taken to the meeker county hospital and shortly released.


he was only 23.

it's so hard not to be angry towards this other man who took justin from us. stopping at a stop sign is something we do everyday. why didn't he do it this time? why did he hit the front drivers side? why couldn't he of hit the back? why did God choose this for him? why did he take him away so quickly? justin had been in a snowmobiling accident back in 2004? or 2005? my memory isn't that great, he came through it. why couldn't he have done it again? why now?

he had a girlfriend, two brothers, parents, many family members and so many friends. and now he's gone. how do you deal with this. no parent should ever have to bury their son. no young woman should have to grieve this kind of a loss. and no younger brother should have to say goodbye to their older brother.
it is such a horrific loss. i cannot imagine what his family and danielle (girlfriend) are going through. i think tonight they had a candlelit vigil at his parents house. gathering family and friends... the wake and funeral are going to be so hard for so many people. all the friends and family, ahh my heart sinks just thinking about it.
dan has had a hard time dealing. they were not the best of friends, but definatley friends. we both got to know justin and realize what a loving friend he was to everyone. this is a first loss of a friend our age, it's hard to cope.
i have so many amazing memories of justin. the random classes that we had together... i will never forget having bible lit with him. ms langseth was not a fan of all of us. justin always made all of us, including ms langseth laugh... uncontrollably. i've never seen justin be mean towards anyone, ever. he would walk down the halls at school and greet everyone. whenever i saw him he would say, "why hello samantha"... no one really called me samantha, and give me a hug :) he was a goalie for the LHS hockey team for many years. erin and i took stats for the boys hockey team for three years and got to know justin on a whole nother level there. he always was friendly towards the both of us, even when the other boys didn't laugh at our jokes or even want us around at times. another memory was his graduation party!!!!!! ahh, beer, beer, karoke, loud music and everything in between. his graduation party lasted till the middle of the night, with A LOT of people.. everyone loved justin. i remember dan telling me about going carp spearing with justin.. and talking over those cb things all the boys had in their trucks for awhile in high school. haha these are just a few that stick out in my mind. i'm sure many people have fantastic memories about justin. and many could go on for hours.

i haven't seen justin in awhile. granted we have a lot of mutual friends, we've strained away. i understand it happens, but i feel horriable about it now. danielle had posted a recent picture of justin. he had a scruffy beard.. to be honest it didn't surprise me... :) danielle had said that he wasn't going to cut it till she grew her hair back out. stubborn justin, that didn't surprise me either.
it is horriable to say goodbye.

but there won't ever been a goodbye, just a see you later. we have all of the wonderful memories justin has given us to hold us over till we see him again. God really has quite an amazing guy up there now. justin is going to keep a watchful eye out over everyone. i'm sure he'll be screaming and yelling at the next derby or laughing at someone's joke at the next party. there's a group on facebook.. "we'll miss you justin shoutz" and there are 304 members already, and i think it was created yesterday. that is L. O. V. E! how AMAZING is that. there was a time when i wasn't such a fan of our little litchfield and surrounding areas. i am so proud of our community now. we are so strong and so loving.

my prayers and thoughts and heart goes out to danielle and justin's family. nothing will heal their pain right now, but they are strong and they will get through. much love goes to them.

mylittleman

my baby boy.

i am in l.o.v.e with my beautiful photos that sarah pollio photography took.

i cannot believe how wonderful each and every photo turned out. honestly, i think i didn't like one of them, and that's because my and dan's face looked a little creepy :S but the rest of them sure made up for that one creepy one.

love this one

i am so ready for another photo session- maybe this time just gavin and i since dan has had his fill probably till gavin turns one. i have seen so many of sarah's photos from nicole and leah and always admired them, but now ahhhh i am so comepletely overwhelmed with the joy that these pictures have given to me...yes, weird that i'm so excited and happy over pictures. very greatful that craig smith let us use his sheds, old truck and residence.

i am ready to go to st cloud and make a LARGE photo for our living room and get ready to give some photos out for christmas gifts for our family.. and a few for the hawes residence!

these are some of my favorites! it's so hard to choose which ones i want for myself.. i could easily print every single picture of gavin and have a huge shrine of pictures of just him- but i think every mom deserves to have that, so maybe i'll do it. i saw a bunch of frames on sale the other day, i think i'll go back and get them!

ahh i love gavin scott more than anything or anyone else in the world. he has my heart in his hands.