...a loss

on friday, december 4th we had a horriable loss..
justin shoutz was killed in a two car accident. his car was struck on the drivers side killing him instantly. his cousin, brandon, was air lifted to st cloud hospital with serious injuries. the driver of the jeep, which hit justins car, was taken to the meeker county hospital and shortly released.


he was only 23.

it's so hard not to be angry towards this other man who took justin from us. stopping at a stop sign is something we do everyday. why didn't he do it this time? why did he hit the front drivers side? why couldn't he of hit the back? why did God choose this for him? why did he take him away so quickly? justin had been in a snowmobiling accident back in 2004? or 2005? my memory isn't that great, he came through it. why couldn't he have done it again? why now?

he had a girlfriend, two brothers, parents, many family members and so many friends. and now he's gone. how do you deal with this. no parent should ever have to bury their son. no young woman should have to grieve this kind of a loss. and no younger brother should have to say goodbye to their older brother.
it is such a horrific loss. i cannot imagine what his family and danielle (girlfriend) are going through. i think tonight they had a candlelit vigil at his parents house. gathering family and friends... the wake and funeral are going to be so hard for so many people. all the friends and family, ahh my heart sinks just thinking about it.
dan has had a hard time dealing. they were not the best of friends, but definatley friends. we both got to know justin and realize what a loving friend he was to everyone. this is a first loss of a friend our age, it's hard to cope.
i have so many amazing memories of justin. the random classes that we had together... i will never forget having bible lit with him. ms langseth was not a fan of all of us. justin always made all of us, including ms langseth laugh... uncontrollably. i've never seen justin be mean towards anyone, ever. he would walk down the halls at school and greet everyone. whenever i saw him he would say, "why hello samantha"... no one really called me samantha, and give me a hug :) he was a goalie for the LHS hockey team for many years. erin and i took stats for the boys hockey team for three years and got to know justin on a whole nother level there. he always was friendly towards the both of us, even when the other boys didn't laugh at our jokes or even want us around at times. another memory was his graduation party!!!!!! ahh, beer, beer, karoke, loud music and everything in between. his graduation party lasted till the middle of the night, with A LOT of people.. everyone loved justin. i remember dan telling me about going carp spearing with justin.. and talking over those cb things all the boys had in their trucks for awhile in high school. haha these are just a few that stick out in my mind. i'm sure many people have fantastic memories about justin. and many could go on for hours.

i haven't seen justin in awhile. granted we have a lot of mutual friends, we've strained away. i understand it happens, but i feel horriable about it now. danielle had posted a recent picture of justin. he had a scruffy beard.. to be honest it didn't surprise me... :) danielle had said that he wasn't going to cut it till she grew her hair back out. stubborn justin, that didn't surprise me either.
it is horriable to say goodbye.

but there won't ever been a goodbye, just a see you later. we have all of the wonderful memories justin has given us to hold us over till we see him again. God really has quite an amazing guy up there now. justin is going to keep a watchful eye out over everyone. i'm sure he'll be screaming and yelling at the next derby or laughing at someone's joke at the next party. there's a group on facebook.. "we'll miss you justin shoutz" and there are 304 members already, and i think it was created yesterday. that is L. O. V. E! how AMAZING is that. there was a time when i wasn't such a fan of our little litchfield and surrounding areas. i am so proud of our community now. we are so strong and so loving.

my prayers and thoughts and heart goes out to danielle and justin's family. nothing will heal their pain right now, but they are strong and they will get through. much love goes to them.