the fire is lit

This is a real quick entry...
The fire under Dan's ass is lit, my friends. Tonight he has been pulling up the My Little Pony pink carpet that has been a eye sore in our bedroom for the five years we've owned this place. Little did I know that lighting a fire under his ass for Jude's room was going to light a fire for our bedroom. The downer is that some moron put carpet glue??? -if that's a real thing- all over certain spots of the hardwood... so he is currently peeling that with some nasty chemicals.

 All today and yesterday (or my four hours I have of free time-- and I use the term "free time" loosely, because Gavin is right next to me, helping... I mean annoying me) removing rose and green vine style boarder from our bedroom. I've just about destroyed every fingernail that I can use to peel off the boarder and my hands will need a full week to recover from being soaked in fabric softener and water (which by the way, does wonders).

 Jude's room is almost complete. I just need shelves, and I'm real picky about them. Dan was going to build them for me but I think I've found the ones I want and that way he can focus on upstairs. Which is great cause to be honest I thought we would sell the house looking the way we bought it. WHOO HOOO TO 2014!

Olson Family

As I'm sure many of you have heard a great family is suffering after a horrific car accident. Coach Olson as many people know him and his two sweet little boys got into a car accident Friday night coming home from a Minnesota Gopher hockey game. They are all battling many issues and aches and pains and need so much support at this time.

Saturday night Zion Lutheran Church held a prayer service and the church was packed. It was so great to see so many people show support and so quickly. I was humbled to see how many people care for this family and how great it is to live in a small community where everyone comes together to show love and offer prayers and thoughts and everything else.

Right now they are selling t-shirts to support the family. All proceeds from the t-shirts will go to help the Olson family. You can order them through Monica Schreiber and her email (found on facebook) or at Litchfield Floral, starting Friday.

I've known Coach Olson since I was in high school. I took hockey stats for the hockey team he coached and got to know him and his family (it was just Alyssa and Cindy then) so it tugs a little at my heart to see them battle this difficult time. They are members of the same church that we go to so I see those adorable little boys running around everywhere. Or even wheeling around every where- Ty had previously broken his leg so he was already in a cast.

Many people are keeping the Litchfield community updated via facebook. Darcie and Luke Braaten are traveling down almost daily to bring Alyssa to see her family and bringing goodies that many people have dropped off  for the them. Darcie, among others, is updating her facebook daily to keep everyone posted on what's going on.

Keep this family in your prayers and thoughts- you can check out how the family is doing via facebook or their caring bridge website,  here.

Baby it's cold outside

I need school to resume. It's been great sleeping in till 8:30, spending the day in our jammies, not leaving the house- I mean really, it's been great! But I am over it. Today the three of us slept in until 8:15 (thank you Jude) and have done absolutely nothing. We're sipping on coffee, eating pop tarts and lounging in our pj's... wait... that's just me. The boys are now coloring and I've been lucky, zero fights as of now at 10:37 am. We've had about 1000 dance parties, many forts built, played well with the thomas table they got for Christmas, made play doh, I've pushed tractors all over the house... you name it- if you can do it indoors, we've done it.

The only plus to this cold is it keeps us together. No one, to include Dan, wants to go out for any unnecessary outing. We've done a whole lot of nothing. I've only left my house twice since Sunday- once to go eat with my grandma and once to go to the grocery store to get her some more coke and deliver it to her. She's not doing well at all so I want to help her out as much as I can. Today Dan volunteered to go grocery shopping so today will be another day of staying warm and cozy in my toasty house.

It's been great being indoors since Jude has been battling a cold/sinus infection for just about two months. Now getting him to take his medicine has been a chore in itself. The first two trys were a projectile vomit across my teeny tiny kitchen and the third was a blueberry go-gurt thrown into the side of my stove. Now we seem to be getting the hang of taking our medicine in the form of applesauce. Whatever works, right?

Another great thing? I've trashed Jude's room to the point of no return. You want to know why? It lights an extremely hot fire under my husbands ass. His room is TRASHED. Dan cannot handle the clutter of Jude's toys around his room and every time he walks by he grunts. Last night (about three hours after I destroyed it) he was in measuring for the shelves and cubbies and even went as far as to discuss making a headboard/bed frame for that sweet little boy. We are making preparations to move him into the big boy bed, 2 months and counting, and "redecorating" the entire room. All the baby stuff and names all over will be LONG gone. I've ordered the bedding from my favorite store (LON) and now all I need is to take a trip to target for the storage cubbies I've been looking at and I need Dan to build some shelves. Oh, I also need to find a new three drawer dresser... Any one have any they're willing to get rid of? I need one that's in any shape or form. I have some big plans for the dresser and since Jude's room is so tiny (like the theme of our house) I need a smaller one that the gorgeous blue one I got from Little Red Hen.

So that's this family in a nutshell, or a tiny little warm house I guess. I'm going to make some eggs for lunch and crank up my Jason Aldean pandora station. County music seems to go well with the frigid cold.
Stay warm.

merry christmas

The Schroeder Family 2013 New Year/Christmas card

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!
I think I can easily say this was the best Christmas ever. We spent a great deal of time (in fact five different Christmases) together and didn't argue once. Our boys were more than excited to see family and friends around the Christmas tree, eat delicious food and of course unwrap those presents. This year was a little bit more special because Gavin understands Santa a little bit more and now gets that the whole reason we celebrate Christmas is because it's baby Jesus's birthday- now that is special. Both of the boys had no "temper tantrums" at any of the places we visited, and that makes this mama happy!

I didn't get the dog (like I need some more chaos) I wanted and Dan didn't get the new snowmobile he asked Santa for, but I think we'll suffice. You kind of forget about the "wants" when you become an adult and think more about the giving aspect of Christmas. It's truly amazing.

The little boys are little boys and were more than excited about the gifts that they received. I'm pretty sure we need to find the boys a new interest other than construction toys and John Deere tractors, we're soon going to need to put an addition on the house for storage for these massive, clunky toys. Gavin has discovered a new interest in legos and I am a little OCD to have them all in my house. Not for the mess but because they all come in sets and you have to build this contraption that moves and swivels and I am obsessed. I could spend about five hours building and sculpting and playing with them- what am I six?! Jude is still loving his books- but only "real life" books- trains, construction, tractors, animals. He shows little to no interest in fiction or tv for that matter. I would say the closest thing to amusement is the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song, after that's over he's back to his path of destruction. And when I say destruction I mean it. You can imagine what his room looks like. He is currently sitting in the fridge re-arranging my condiments and snorting like a pig. It is (hashtag) never a dull moment.

I am grateful that we had so much to celebrate this year. In fact, I'm grateful that Dan and I could celebrate it together, as a family. Because at one point I wasn't too sure we'd make it to the 25th of December. I do not shy away from talking about my relationship with Dan, it.is.hard. We drive each other to our breaking points and honestly are ready to walk away 20% of the year. But this Christmas we gave our kids the best thing we could give them and that was to try even harder to make our marriage something meaningful to each other and this family a happy one. Marriage is something that comes with no manual and goes many different ways. I, myself, have never seen an amazing marriage. I don't know ANYONE out there who has one. In fact, I don't think there really is an "ideal" marriage so I have nothing to go by. I don't know the rules and I don't think it is something I'll ever get better at, I will never be the relationship expert people come to for advice, I just want my marriage to be better than it has been in the past. And there is only one way to go from that spot... and it is up.

We've both done a lot of growing in the past year. We met the harsh reality that outside others really do have a lot to do with the inside of your marriage. The negativity surrounds you more than the uplifting positivity of others. More so with me than Dan, and more so mentally than physically- if you know what I mean. Just to be 100% clear and not start a rumor that came from this blog, no- no cheating scandals or any sorts of that.  I "grieved" a loss of a few friends because they weren't really there to be my friends and made me feel depressed and upset and questioning everything about Samantha Jo (fucking) Schroeder. And that made me feel at a loss with who I am as a wife and made my family suffer. This year I was negative and let my mind be dragged down and question so much. I loss the confidence that I've had for 25 years. Confidence that I had when I was fat and pregnant, or just fat from being pregnant, confidence that made me do that 13.1 mile half marathon with people who I knew were way faster than me, confidence in being a daughter who is mind blown with the fact her mom is losing her house to foreclosure and moving away from from me, and my boys, and the town she grew up in, I just basically lost confidence I've always had in myself. And the fact that I let these negative thoughts and people take that away from me and make myself feel horrible and let my family suffer really upsets me more than any of those reasons listed above. So like I said there is no way to go but up. 2013 was a great year, so much to celebrate... but 2014 is going to be much better. Growing back together with Dan, being a mom to my sweet boys, getting the negativity and sadness out of my life and being that same person I've been for the last 25 years. I truly can't wait.

And the first start to 2014 is a much needed face-lift to this blog. It needs some help. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, and I hope you have a Happy NEW Year!

AMAZING!

i want to post this video so i can always go back and watch it... how freaking cool is this?
i totally cried.

johnny cash

Oh facebook.
Everyone and their brother is doing these "7 random facts" lists on facebook and it's really interesting. I've "liked" a few and they've given me numbers and I still have yet to respond, via facebook, to them. So I'm going to do these "7 things" on my blog. I've had two people say I have 7 and 8.. so I'll do 15.

1. I have two major regrets in my life. Although they would've changed my life 100% I would to this day go back and change the two decisions and choices I made.

2. I lied to anyone and everyone who would listen up until 2nd grade. I told people I had a twin sister, Sarah, whom died at birth. My mom had to sit me down and explain that lying is wrong and told me the story about the boy who cried wolf. I didn't understand it.. Ironically enough my parents were planning on naming me Sarah up until I was born. Creepy! I stopped telling that lie the day we moved away from Grove City.

3. I think Johnny Cash could have been my soul mate.

4. I have five friends who I don't think my life would operate without. Three who have been my besties for almost two decades. I wouldn't be who I am without them.

5. I have always been thankful that I am an only child. I never wanted a sibling. Now I wouldn't mind having an older brother.

6. I never wanted kids. Thought they were adorable but I never wanted the responsibility of caring for someone else. When I got pregnant I thought my life was over- little did I know it was just the beginning.

7. I wish I would have pursued a career in photography. I love to be behind the camera and my dream job would be out West capturing the beauty that those states hold. Working for National Geographic or something similar would be amazing.

8. I could eat spaghetti every day. Cold, warm... it doesn't matter. Anything with pasta and some red sauce is a favorite.

9. I enjoy getting dressed up in girly dresses and do my hair. I don't think I could live without fingernail polish and my curling iron.

10. I miss my grandpa more than words can describe. I'd do anything to see him again.

11. I think the word Love is bogus.

12. My sophomore year in High School I rode around town and sang Hot Rod Lincoln and Beer Run. I thought I was amazing that I could recite both songs without any music. I still can :)

13. I vow never to push my kids to be someone they don't want to be.

14. I REALLY want to try to be sober, 100% sober for an entire year. See what difference it makes in my life. But I am not really willing to start anytime soon. I like wine and whiskey too much as of now.

15. I have never watched as much tv as I do now that I'm a stay a homer. I watch a lot of junk tv. Tv shows that are slightly embarrassing and I only share that love with one other person and we keep it a secret.... Shhhhhhhhh.

these are my favorites from our session. i'm obsessed with the way sarah captured my sweet boys. although our afternoon was quite busy, and these little men didn't particularly want their photos taken, sarah kept snapping that flash to get me the ones that i cherish the most, the candid shots.