just pictures...

our last visit to the farm.

look at precious licking gavins jacket. he was so excited!

my best friends, mom

loving this fresh powder on the trees

feb 9th

our "engagement anniversary" is on feburary 9th.
i can still remember how strange dan was being that day.
anyways, it's been six long years since dan asked me to be his wife. we don't really celebrate. actually i'll be honest... we don't celebrate it. we do both remember it's our anniversary day, but it's not something we go out and celebrate.
i will say that i celebrated all damn day. 10:30 am with a mimosa, wine all day and  beer somewhere in between.. at 10 pm my last drink was a large water and an ice tea... i was already hung over. i guess that's what happens when you agree to go to an event where free wine is served all day and your on the second bus tour to see some houses... and that bus guide happens to be your husbands best friend, and he has ample wine on bus. i'm shocked that i lasted the entire day, for real. i did have a "time out" under my favorite hawes blankie. regardless, dan joined in on the fun around 7. he was less than enthused to be around me at that point and could have cared less that it was our anniversary.
tonight we will celebrate our engagement anniversary, valentines day and judes birthday.
all of the favorites.
for dan and i: my amazing (yes, it is amazing) lasagna. some wine and beer.
for gavin: chicken. not a shocker
for jude: his very first birthday cake. we're only three days early!

after dinner we will be putting the kids to bed and watching a movie dans been dying to see. "that's my boy"... anyone seen it yet? we're really excited to be spending the night with each other since we all won't be together for almost a week and a half. bring on the vacay!

its only six months

so i decided to join our local community ed fitness "boot camp"
i mean how hard can a boot camp in litchfield really be?
well, it's hard. it's not only hard, it's (excuse my french) fucking hard.
yesterday i drank far too much water because i thought i was going to die of a dry mouth/throat attack, and then wanted to throw up because i drank too much water. meh.

i can run run run, miles miles miles on a treadmill or on the road (summer time).. but the intervals of jumping ropes, squats, burpees (DESPISE them), push ups, killers, ect ect ect, added to our runs in the halls of the middle school and high school, boy...  i am exhausted. it's a good exhausted for the most part.

my mom is in boot camp too.
yep. she's 56 and doing everything, well almost everything, the entire group is... i'm pretty proud.

i hope this is some good training for my body because i signed up for my first half... yes, that is not a typo. half... half marathon. the entire thing is completely freaking me out... the word kind of even sends shivers down my spine. half marathon. but it's not until the end of august, which is far enough away that i have plenty of time to whip myself into half marathon shape. that's six whole months of training.... yep, only six months.

too late

today as i heard jude wake up i was instantly annoyed. i swore i looked the alarm clock on dans side and it read 6:03am.
if this usually happens i kind of just lay in bed till he screams and shouts- because yes, i'm lazy and it's just like waking a bear...

all of the sudden i hear:
gavin: jude it's too late, go to bed.
(jude hitting a toy on his crib)
gavin: i am sleeping. to bed jude.
(jude is silent)
gavin: good i'm so tired and no peeschool for me today.
(jude screaming)
gavin: mom, get up. i'm sleeping and jude is so loud.

i rolled back over to realize that it is 8:05am now. the 6 was an 8, mehhhh.
up i go!

a little nervous

 i am leaving the state for a few days in the upcoming month and i am nervous and so damn excited.
a. i have never been away from the boys for more than a day/overnight/another day, ever! not even gavin. that means that dan and i have not left for more than a day or so in the last three years. let alone the state.
b. i have never had anyone assume the "mommy" role.
c. three different people/families/whatever you'd like to call it are taking care of my boys. my mom one day, dan the next, shawn and sarah for a few days and then shari and gerry the last day. that's a lot of moving my kids. moving them BOTH in a car (without me driving), moving their belongings around... yikes. kind of gives me a small panic attack thinking of it. i know the kids will be perfectly fine, they love their grandmas, papas and auntie and uncle, and they treat our kids like their own, but still...
d. why isn't dan taking care of our kids? well that's because DAN is too leaving the state. horrible planning! dan is going snowmobiling in wyoming- yes, the same state i am heading to. i guess he will be in montana too, but that's besides the point. he will be leaving saturday, i will be leaving on a thursday. yes, both parents will be out of state. dan was supposed to be leaving on monday, which would cut down the moving of our kids and all the planning but his trip got moved up a bit. and the big kicker.... both of us are not, repeat not, driving. which makes me just a tad more panicked.  dan and i, we like the control of driving. it kind of gives us some ease. i like knowing that if something were to happen with our kids we could leave at the drop of a hat to get to where we need to go. and we do that if we're in litchfield or out of town near or far. we always drive. i am going to wyoming with some really great ladies. some that i know, and some that i don't. most of them are moms so they would defiantly have no problem cutting their trip short if something were to happen with my kids (as i would do the same).. it's just something that i am a little uncomfortable with.
e. when i come back from wyoming dan will be gone for quite some time. that means that i am here, without any support. now i can handle the kids, but what if something were to break down? or go wrong in our house? the two other guys i would call to help me will also be with him... in another state. there are a few other guys that would defiantly come to my rescue, if i should need it, but those two are my "go-to" guys.
f. as of today. i have no one to take care of bella. bella's kind of a feisty bitch. she loves to be left alone, in her little doggie bed. she loves kids, but doesn't want to be around them all the time. which presents a small problem for me. ohhhh bella. a kennel is not an option.. so i need to get creative. it would only be 2 days that she would need to be somewhere- while the kids are at sarah and shawns.
g. i am missing jude's first birthday. yep. i am. talk all about it to your friends, i am missing his first birthday. at first i was like no no no, i am not going on this trip... i don't want to miss it. and then i thought.... will i get this chance in the near future again? no. so i am going. we haven't even planned his big birthday huuraaaaaah, but it makes me sad i'll be 1000 or so miles away. i'm pretty sure i will be more upset by it than jude.

so that's my nervous points.
my excited points outweigh my nervous ones... i cannot wait. sleeping in, drinking wine, a great group of women, being in wyoming- that is good enough reason to go right there. i'm just a little nervous to be leaving my littles behind. and no, i do not want to take them with. i guess this will be a little taste of what leaving them behind will be like. because our montana trip will be far longer than my wyoming get-a-way.

i, i, i, i workout

i have joined the gym! praise the lord!
after months and months of thinking abut doing it, i've finally done it.
and everyone's comment of "it's so expensive" that has always been lingering over me has been more than wrong. it's not that expensive.. $30 a month for endless access to a gym with amazing equipment and tanning... are you kidding?
so here's my february schedule:
monday: bootcamp
tuesday: tredmill/leg work
wednesday: bootcamp
thursday: yoga
friday: tredmill/arm work
saturday: day of rest
sunday: jillian (yes, back at her shred, urgh)
who is watching my kids you may ask: their father! well, until spring time comes- then i'm screwed! gyms need a daycare system.
by the way, speaking of dan. drive by our house anytime in the upcoming week. you will be greeted with an amazing view. a new van. so that is car #4 at this home. FOUR. 4. cuatro. ridiculousness! i am trying to think of creative ways to hid this monster of a van.

glasses?

we've had a week of appoitments. tuesday: jude with the doctor: ear infection. wednesday: dentist appointment for myself: perfect teeth. today: eye appointment: glasses. and tomorrow(friday): gavin's surgery---- more on that later.

i've never been to the eye doctor before.. besides the time with jude.
so i went today thinking my eyes were going to be as perfect as my teeth.. WRONG.
glasses are needed......
WHAT? really? i don't need glasses!
after an hour with dr. katie and changing lenses and clarifying  my vision.. glasses it is! i'm kind of nervous about it, but kind of not. when i was little, and we're talking 6-7th grade, i used to take jeremy smiths glasses out of his locker and wear them during class. i wanted glasses so bad. just like how i used to sleep with plastic in between my teeth to try to get braces and i used to want to break my arm so bad i purposely fell down a flight of stairs. all of these things got me no where- i just got headaches from wearing jer's glasses, people yelling at me for putting plastic in my mouth and separating my "perfect" teeth.. while sleeping, and bruises for trying to break my bones. silly silly silly!
so now i'm getting glasses. i'm actually sitting with computer with some frames that i picked out and they sent home to try to figure out which route i'm going to go.
i never knew how expensive glasses are... just the frames alone are $150-$250... CRAZY. so i want to make sure i get a pair i'm going to like, for a loooooooooong time.
glasses it is.